Next
Tuesday will mark three months that I have been in Peru. At this mid-way point in my internship,
I find myself in the middle (middle child!) of feeling worn out and feeling motivated to keep
going, of feeling burdened down from the painful realities of the shelter and
feeling joyful and excited to spend another day at the shelter, of feeling
homesick and feeling content and at home here. Thus, from the middle, I write this rambling but honest
update.
For
the past month, I have spent a lot of time at the shelter, staying extra days
during a visit from volunteers from the U.S. and during all of Holy Week. Throughout this past month, I have had
such a mix of joys and struggles (that’s all of life though, isn’t it?). I am so thankful for all that God has
been teaching me. One of the most
repeated, but desperately needed, messages is the following: “Sara! Stop trying to do all of this by yourself. Come to Me in your despair, in your
excitement, in your hurt, in your impatience, in the mundane, in all that you
do, wherever you are. Prayer is so
powerful and necessary—take breaks throughout the day to be still before me. Dwell
on my Truth and share it with others. In everything, be grateful. Trust me and do not fear, for I am with you!” In the big and small, God always shows
Himself perfectly faithful. I am
especially reminded of His faithfulness when I see rainbows like this over the
hills surrounding the shelter.
Now,
to a little more specifics, I will share some of the “big and small” and the
“joys and struggles”. Granted, it
will be scattered, and please forgive my rambling. Still, I hope the random puzzle pieces can come together to
form a glimpse into all that I am doing and experiencing here.
About
a month ago, a group of university students from North Carolina came to
volunteer at the shelter for a week.
It was interesting to observe a short-term experience at the shelter
from a longer-term perspective.
While I do support and see the value in short-term “mission trips”, I am
so grateful to be at the shelter for six months to understand the work, the
challenges, the situations of the kids there, and what the day in and day out
work in this setting looks like.
The group painted some of the kids’ rooms, worked in the garden at the
shelter, and played with the kids (volleyball!). I definitely was amused with the infatuation of our girls
with the three college-aged guys of the group ;) I enjoyed talking to the group, asking about their lives, and
sharing about my time here. Thank
you Lord for bringing a group!
 |
| Bonfire with games and dancing performances on the group's last night |
For
Holy Week, Ana (intern from Brazil in the area of pastoral care), Ashley, and I
planned special activities for each day of the week (Monday-Sunday). We had a LOT of time of the kids that
week because they did not have classes, so while it was tiring at times, we
enjoyed the extra time with the kids that we don’t always get working during
the school week. Some of the daily
activities we planned (and collaborated with the staff on) included
devotionals, crafts, preparing a theatrical act, watching movies about Jesus
(including Narnia :)), and recreational
activities.
On
Wednesday of that week, we got to take a little trip into Huánuco to go to a
restaurant for “pollo a la brasa”, which was such a special treat for the
kids!
 |
| Basically, rotisserie chicken, french fries, salad, and kethup/mayo/ahí sauce |
Thursday
night, Ana led us in the Lord’s Supper with our homemade grape juice. Taking part in Communion with these
young women I love so much was a special experience. We also washed each other’s feet, following the example of
Jesus before the “Last Supper”.
Everyone did not want to participate, but that night was still so
meaningful. Ana encouraged us to
wash the feet of someone that we love very much and/or someone that bothers us
or has caused us pain. I don’t
know how much the girls understood or took from that night, but I hope they all
took the opportunity to reflect, confess, and thank Jesus for His sacrificial
love, which is an example for us to love one another as a reflection of Jesus’
love. On Sunday, we had a
beautiful worship service together, culminating the week’s focus on the love of
Jesus with a message about the invitation of Jesus to each of us to trust Him
in a life-transforming relationship.
Our prayer for all of the women, adolescents, and children that enter
the gates of the “Casa de Buen Trato-Hovde” is that they would come to know
Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
Deep healing from abuse and real life changes from today on can only
happen when they are in a true relationship with Jesus. That is our prayer!
Although
I loved spending a full week at the shelter, I can’t say that it was all an
easy joy ride. For one, it is very
hard to find alone space/time at the shelter. Someone was always coming up to ask for markers, to sit and
talk, or to do a favor (“Sarita lindita preciosa, un favor…” “Beautiful,
precious Sara, can you do me a favor?”
Butter me up before they ask haha). Truly, I love times to sit and talk with them and to help
out wherever I can, but little breaks are so necessary for me to love and
gladly serve at these opportunities rather than resent them. Also, I realize how easy it is for me to
get caught up in the world of girl drama, insecurities, and arguments between
the kids. I have to stop and take
a breather to pray for wisdom, patience, and confidence in the Lord. He alone can bring the peace we
need! While I sometimes have the
mentality that I need to be working, serving, and present at all times, I will
dig myself into a hole pretty quickly if I do not set up boundaries and take
breaks.
Thus,
after a long 10 days, I definitely came to appreciate the built-in break/change
of scenery in my weekly schedule (i.e., coming to Huánuco Friday-Sunday). I was so grateful to come back to
Huánuco last weekend for rest, alone time, and company with other people (here
in Peru and in the U.S. :)). Also,
a package from my sister timely brought me a book on a subject matter I really
need help on here and wherever I am—Boundaries
by Cloud and Townsend. I
have such a hard time setting and maintaining boundaries, which becomes
especially evident at the shelter where I am surrounded with so much need and
so many people 24/7. While I mess
up in this area over and over again, I am encouraged and challenged to continue
on, not out of fear or guilt but by the grace of God.
These
past few weeks, I have begun to feel more and more burdened down by the stories
and realities of the girls (and one boy) at the shelter. Why, Lord, have they suffered such
horrible abuse? Why do they have
families that don’t support or care for them? How can they heal?
How do I respond when they talk about their pain, their anxiety, and
their self-hatred? What will
happen with them when they leave the shelter? My heart breaks for the situations at the shelter. After reading some of the files and
talking to the girls more, I understand why the staff at the shelter says that
the most severe cases of abuse come to the shelter. I struggle in the balance between treating them like my own
sisters (full trust, openness, sharing, etc.) and interacting with them with
caution, strict boundaries, suspicion, and oversensitivity. I ask for your prayers that the wisdom
and love of the Lord would permeate all my interactions with the girls.
I
have hugged some of them while they cried. “It’s so hard to be here sometimes!” “I’m tired of being with so many
people.” “All the rules bore me
and get on my nerves.” “I miss my
family! When will I go home?” We’ve looked at the stars together,
seeking the peace and perspective the God’s creation brings. When their energy/nerves gets so high,
I’ve run little laps to the gate and back with the younger kids. With the tutors, psychologists, and
other residents, we’ve tried to sort through conflicts and fights between the
kids, adolescents, and women.
One
night, one of the tutors and I sat down with two of the kids (13 year-old girl
and 12 year-old boy) to talk about their constant fighting and hitting. We were having so many problems with
the both of them for the past week, so I asked one of the tutor if we could pray
before going to talk to them; dealing with their attitudes, outbursts, and
fighting seems impossible at times.
We prayed for wisdom, love, and patience. While they did not have an overnight transformation, I
praise God for His Faithfulness and trust in His Ways and His Timing. We had a good talk that night with them
about treating others like we’d want to be treated. The tutor asked them, “Did you like how your dad hit
you?” “No,” they both said. “Why do you hit others then? Don’t follow the example of your
father! Treat others with love and
respect.” Why do I try to handle
these situations by myself? I know
I repeat this a lot, but I will say it again: God did not make us all-sufficient and isolated; He made us
to be in relationship with Him and to be in relationships with others. Please pray for the peace, love,
healing, and hope of Christ to fill the hearts of women, children, and
adolescents of the shelter. My
heart breaks for the situations at the shelter. After reading some of the files and talking to the girls
more, I understand why the staff at the shelter says that the most severe cases
of abuse come to the shelter. I
struggle in the balance between treating them like my own sisters (full trust,
openness, sharing, etc.) and interacting with them with caution, strict
boundaries, suspicion, and oversensitivity. I ask for your prayers that the wisdom and love of the Lord
would permeate all my interactions with the girls.
In
the midst of difficult confrontations with pain and suffering, I want to
emphasize the ways God revives and sustains me. One of these ways is dancing and laughter. No day goes by at the shelter without
dancing and/or laughter.
 |
| Having a little fun/disorder (as the some of the stricter tutors say ;)) at dinner |
 | |
| Ana (pastoral intern), me, Isabel (tutor), Mireya (psyc intern), Ashley |
Also,
the daily time I have with the adolescent moms and their babies (Early
Stimulation/Mother-Baby Bonding) is refreshing and fun. I’ve been teaching the moms “Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star”, which they have a hard time pronouncing but still love
singing in English. We also set up
a straight line of tape and pulled a toy in front of them to help them with
crawling ;) Hilarious.
Daily
hugs and greetings from the kids are so encouraging and sweet—definitely
filling my hug quota, if there is such a thing, though I must admit I get a
little over-filled some days!
Still, these sweet hugs and words far outweigh the negative
interactions.
As
I have mentioned in other posts, conversations and emails with friends and
family back home over the weekend encourage me so much. So, thank you! Also, the past two weekends have been
filled with heart-warming tastes from home. Some of those “tastes” came in packages from my family,
which included gum, sour candy, peanut products from Dothan, Mom’s favorite
chai tea mix, and honey. Also, one
morning, I had breakfast at a friend’s home here in Huánuco, and I taught them
how to French toast, which is definitely one of my favorite breakfast foods :) They are such a kind family, as well as
my host family. I am grateful for
the feeling of home and family, especially on days that I am missing my
family.
In
addition, I greatly appreciate conversations, daily debriefs, prayers, laughter,
working on projects, and speaking in English with Ashley. I didn’t realize what an encouragement
it would be to have Ashley. Once
again, I am reminded that God knows our needs better than we do! As she heads back to the U.S. to finish
out her senior year, I definitely will miss her at the shelter and with our
family in Huánuco. Whether she
wants it or not, I’m sure I will be sending little messages here and there
about frustrations, updates on the kids, greetings from someone, etc. ;)
 |
| I did the hair flip for Mrs. Julie :) |
To
windup this post from the middle of my six months here in Peru, I want to thank
God for the opportunity to be here.
I fully believe that God has called me here, and He provided and
continues to provide for every step of the way. Next weekend, I will travel to Lima with Ashley for a
three-day retreat of sorts with Fiorella (our volunteer coordinator with
Andemos and good friend!). This
“retreat” serves as a time of rest and reflection as Ashley prepares to
transition back to the U.S. and as I reach the halfway point in my internship. Then, on the 23rd, I will
fly to Uruguay for four days to renew my visa…but much more than visa renewal,
to visit three good friends there—Abby, Jen, and Annika. I’m looking to forward to visiting them
very much :) On the 28th,
I’ll head back to Peru for the next three months! Other good travel/visit news...Mom and Heather are going to
come to Peru the second week of May!
I’m so excited to show them around Huánuco, introduce them to the
shelter, go on little adventures with them, and share in this special place
with them.
 |
| View of the shelter (red roofs) from the farm nearby (Granja Lindero) |
 |
| Adolescent girls house |
That’s
all I have for now :) Thank you
once again for reading and for your prayers!
 |
| Pretending to drive the bus of the shelter ;) |